California Sandwiches


I’m not trying to start 2021 on a negative note. I swear to you I’m not. But, I don't understand the obsession of getting to a new year. The idea that going from 20 to 21 is meant to be a new beginning, and this year will be better than the last (!!!). I’m not that guy. Bro, it’s cold in 2020, 2021, on Tuesday, Thursday. We’re in quarantine on the 31st and the 1st. Nothing's different. I wish everyone all the success, but don’t put credit on it being a new year. You did that shit, no matter if it was a few months ago or a few months in the future. It’s on you g, take credit for that.


Ok, I got that out. I’m about food here, and I had an urge to go back to the roots. You don’t have to travel all the time to get something that comes correct. You know what I’m talking about. You have that location that you go to when your body requires something you know 100% hits the spot, only because you’ve been there 100 times. California Sandwiches is that spot.


This is my ol’ reliable. The one I go to when I’m starving and I need something to fill me up no question. When I get an urge for a solid sandwheech and I want that feeling in my hand where I’m eating a monster. That’s what I get from this. Now, I don't think I’m putting California Sandwiches on the map here. It’s not like I’m coming at you with some secret tech that only I know about. Naw. This place is an institution. They have a few different locations, and the one by College is probably the best one because it was the first one. But, none of those, my friend, can I walk to at a moment's notice. Having a place within arms reach is not a trait that any spot can possess. This one does.


It truly is a monstrosity. There are those that fear eating it, for it may stain their clothes. Not I. I have embraced it for exactly what it is. A mess that must be eaten with two hands and a bucket. At least, the way I get mine. 


I get the chicken every single time. No question. I get mushrooms, cheese, and make it hot with the peppers. Oh, and extra sauce please. This is the key. I want my bread soggy and steamy. I want the thing to turn into a gooey mess with the cheese pull and the sauce on the back of my hand. Let me explain why this makes sense.


The bread is extremely key, because if you have some bitch white bread then it soaks and completely falls apart. This is a nonna approved Italian bun, reinforced with gluten and whatever shit so that it can be the perfect structural vessel. Strong foundation, I approve.


Next is the sauce. I’m not going to sit here and try and dissect someone’s tomato sauce. Everyone has their own, they add their own thing, and it becomes what they got. It’s good, it’s red, and, again, it does it’s job. To me, the sauce isn’t the star, but it’s the strong supporting actor that needs to be there or it’s just not the same. Very important that this sauce is smooth and more viscous than the other thick sauces. More fluid = more bread absorption. Science baby.


The chicken is as big as my head. It’s breaded nicely so that when it’s cooked everything stays on, and the chicken is soft and not dry, which is such a common killer for a sandwheech like this. It’s integral to this art project, and there’s a clear reason why I order this over the veal. I love chicken, and nothing hits the spot than a breaded chicken cutlet sandwich. Simple as that.


You can fuck with your own toppings, but I’m a simple man. Cheese mushrooms hot peppers. The end.


Honorable mention to my vice, olives. This is my side. I fucking love olives, I actively get excited when I pass the olive bar at any supermarket. More places need to have a side of olives. Why is this not everywhere? AND you have some chili flakes, some jalapeno, some onion? Say much much less.


Not every post has to be about a hole in the wall hidden gem off graffiti alley. Sometimes it’s important to go back to the roots and remember that something you’ve had so often can still be beautiful. It sounds like I’m in love right. Maybe I am. Maybe I’m in love with a bella sandwheech that takes a MINUTE to eat and requires all attention and all napkins.